I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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