At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
