just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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