at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize