8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
How does one acquire holy water?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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