Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We had to coat check the pizza.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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