I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
