she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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