You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
