Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
