just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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