That's intense
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The feeling are messing with the penis
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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