Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
