once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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