don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
