remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize