The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
