just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I currently don't understand fingers.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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