like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
