On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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