I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
