If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize