Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
