non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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