i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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