Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize