thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
