How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i will never coherently bang her
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
