This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
