My first STD was from a foam party
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
