I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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