new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
