Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
