nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
