i jhust puked up my retainher.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
