I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
