note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
