Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
