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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex

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• (914): View more from New York

  my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.

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