He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
