the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
