Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
dude. I can hear the air.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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