I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
