I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize