Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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