do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I have aggressive nipples.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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