Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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