Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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