So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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