I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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