STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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