I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
