Christians are straight up FREAKS
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
