thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Ladies don't puke and tell
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
