I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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