How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Randomize
