1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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