so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
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