seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
No I am not eating basil off your cock
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
