Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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